A girl who writes. Or a dreamer by heart, a seeker by soul. Or, someone who is unable to define her, or maybe, she loves to define herself on her own. This is me. This rebel heart, this rule-breaker, this carefree soul is me. This vagabond, this wanderer, this story nomad is me. This wild storm, this calm sea, and this blissful chaos is me.
I call myself a wandering miracle. My life is a complete mess. My childhood was a perfect one, just as most of us had. Time was good and there was happiness always with me. I was a pampered granddaughter, strictly disciplined daughter, and an obedient girl. I was bright and sharp, I was curious and intelligent. I did well in my academics, passed board exams with excellent remarks, and grabbed a decent rank in the entrance exam of engineering. I got my admission to a renowned engineering college in such a city that was not so near yet not so far from my hometown.
Everything was going as per my plan and life was nice. Even I was happy to see that life was bestowing upon me the shower of blessings. Things were perfect in my life.
I can’t call it depression as I never went to an expert for consulting my problems. But I know whatever it was, it was bad. And gradually, that sadness started taking form in a worse and then one day, it became the worst.
My college days were spent with a lot of negative feelings. There was loneliness, although I had a number of close friends yet at times, somehow I felt alone in the crowd. At that time, I was so much into the ambiguity of emotions that I could not identify what was wrong with me. Some things went as I desired, but most of the things went opposite to my desires and I had a lot of unexpected events. Long story short, my college days experiences don’t bring any merry moments for me.
Then, after passing out of college, I started the job hunt and there started a long struggle. I met an accident in my final year of college and got a permanent injury in my right ankle. I started having some other physical problems and it started taking a toll on my mental health too. We shifted to a new city and suddenly, my life and lifestyle, both of them vastly changed. People here started talking about my age, my ambition, my marriage, and even they started making their own assumptions about what was going on in my life. Well, years have passed but kudos to their spirit, they continue the same conversations and discussions still, all are centered around me.
But to my side, many things started changing like my friendship bonds, my relationships, my aspirations, and I was facing failure in every aspect of life. At first, I stayed undaunted and faced every negativity in life with utmost resilience. I have been a strong persona since my childhood. Every hard time I face with the highest dignity. But I never knew that every little negative thing that was going in my life, was breaking me little by little inside. The girl in me broke, shattered, but then again arose. This cycle of breaking, shattering and arising kept going for a long period of seven years. But at a point in life, it all ended.
My hope was lost. My dreams were lost. My wish for living was lost. My ambition, let’s not speak about it. Everything was lost. I was sinking deep into the dark hole of despair and darkness. Slowly, in the outer world and the inner world, I was surrounded by darkness everywhere.
Above all, I became an isolated island of loneliness. My world became confined to a four walls room. I tried to speak my heart with my friends, but nothing worked as everyone was busy in life, I couldn’t have a chance to open up to them.
Sometimes, it felt like, my breath was choked and I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t see the light for long. I was not that spontaneous, lively, confident girl anymore. I was not that leader anymore. I was not that bright and curious student anymore. For the world, for everyone around me, and most importantly, for me, I was a failure.
I was nobody. Maybe, I was not alive from within. Because breathing didn’t seem to breathe for me. Smiling didn’t seem smiling for me. Even, if I was crying, it didn’t seem crying for me.
For me, everything was blank. Everything was obscure. Everything was dark. I was carrying an emptiness within.
There came a night when it became the worst. It became the darkest night for me because I thought maybe it was the last hour of my life. I was so lost in the feelings of grief that I lost hope to see the ray of light ever again in my life.
The same happened with me, too. Maybe it was that hour of the darkness when I found a ray of light. I felt peace amidst the chaos and I realized that something in me is still alive.
It took time. I was traumatized for a long because something happened to me in the most unpredictable way. Then, after one year when I started recovering slowly from that grief and trauma, again, something happened and it hurt me deeply. I couldn’t accept that loss. But after some days, grieving and dwelling into the sadness, I came across something written as a pearl of spiritual wisdom and that healed me. I started overcoming that phase slowly.
This was my story of how I faced despair and hopelessness in life. Most of the years of my youth were spent fighting with stress, anxiety, and depression. There are things that I mourned over and there are things that I couldn’t have in my arms. But this is not a way of life, don’t you think so?
This is your life and you should make your own rule to rule your life. You can make your own ways and then break them, only to make new ones, again. You should not stop dreaming. If one dream has not come true and one wish has not been fulfilled, what to be worried for? There are a hundred new ones, waiting only for you.
This phase of hardships taught me a lot of lessons. They have transformed me into the one that I had always wanted to be. They have made me realize the inner power and revealed to me the secrets of life.
I believe in hope. I believe in love. I believe in peace. I believe in kindness. I believe in goodness. I believe in purpose. I believe in healing. I believe in miracles. I believe in life.
There was a time when I lost hope to see another tomorrow and I was drowning in the deepest surface of despair.
I lost hope to survive.
I lost hope to see the light once again in my life.
I thought my story was over and I have nothing left by my side.
I thought there was nobody who could save me from sinking into deep.
But amid everything, one day, I discovered some beautiful things in life. Those little things sparkle magic and kindled the lamp of hope in my heart. I came across stories that inspired me. I realized that stories have magic, they have healing power.
And this is why I believe that there is still room for light.
Here is all about my humble attempt to share positivity and my hope, love, and peace, as much as possible in this world.
The Peace Stories is an initiative to spread the message of hope, love, and peace.
It’s a Digital Space where we collect and curate some beautiful things from the walk of life. The things that help you to keep going. The things that inspire you to see dreams and whisper the song of hope in your every breath. The things that remind you that wherever you are, there is still room for light, because you are alive. You are alive with every little thing that makes you proud of who you are. You are alive with all your imperfections. You are alive with all your brokenness and yet you are a beautiful mess.
At The Peace Stories, we share affirmations, messages of hope, words of wisdom, blissful quotes, letters, photographs, artworks, and a lot of beautiful things, wrapped with a shimmering touch of kindness. They are all the gentle reminders of the message we want to convey to the world, that there is still room for goodness on earth, that there is still room for empathy and smiles, that there is still room for light.
In between, we listen to the stories. Stories of hope, stories of love. Stories that inspire, stories that empower. Stories that are magic, stories that can do wonders. Stories of recovery, stories of healing. Stories of self-discovery and personal winning.
Stories of you and me. Stories of transformation, stories of peace. We strongly believe that stories have the power to bring the season of metamorphosis.
Thus we are building a space for calm and bliss. A space for counting our blessings. A space for just breathing and being.
I welcome you all to come along with me to build our very own home.
The Peace Stories: Together we smile, together we heal.
Read all the peace stories here.