Letters Of Love – Dear Ivan




I have died everyday, waiting for you

Darling, don’t be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years

I’ll love you for a thousand more


Dear Ivan,

It’s been long I wrote a letter to you. For some years, I left writing letters. I tried many times, but whenever I started writing the letter, my vision became blur. My heart wanted to tell you a lot of things happening in my life, but, I couldn’t write a single sentence to you. I felt an unbearable pain inside. I stopped writing, and kept all the blank postcards on the attic. I saw the letters I have written to you so far, lying on my bed like broken petals on the ground. Holding them all, I closed my eyes, and tried to see you there. Embracing them closer to my heart, I found you in those letters. To make me feel true, they smelled like you. Deepest at my heart, I felt that you were reading my letters. Yes, you were.

For these years, all the old letters are sleeping in the wooden self of my room. I have preserved them with all my love and care, the way I looked after you, when you were here. With me. With all of us. I love them just like you. I cry with them, I smile with them. Sometimes, when I wake up in midnight after seeing you in my dream, I bring them out of the self, and holding them all, I come to the balcony. Seeing the brightest star on the night sky, I start reading them, one by one. I tell you stories of me, my life, and, our love. Our old new love. I wonder, how we are getting old with time, our love is getting older, yet, it’s blooming like a wild mountain flower. Everyday, in a new way.


Once I thought, it’s enough, I have written so many letters for you, now it’s time to send them all to you. I laughed thinking about you, even I imagined how would you react, seeing a bunch of letters awaiting for you, to be read, and then, to be replied. You would take one long year to finish reading them all, I guess! But then I remember, they are not meant to be sent. Because they have no address written on the top. Yes I could send them all to the stars, but I know, you are not there, as I feel you here. Around me. The letters find their way straight to my heart, and they are meant to be preserved in my heart’s deepest corner.

You know, I had that nightmare, again tonight. I saw you in my dream. We were playing hide and seek, you blind folded me, and told me to count till ten. I did so. After stopping my count, I tried to find you, but I found you nowhere.  I called your name, but you did not reply me. Trembling in an unknown fear, I opened my eyes, I tried to find you, again. I searched you everywhere. Suddenly, you called me from afar, “Aashi!”

I turned back. There was a dense fog, it was wrapping me like a shawl. I found you cloaked with white mist. You were smiling. I tried to reach you, to touch you, to hold you in my arms. But the mist held me tight, I couldn’t even move. My feet seemed to have frozen on the ground. You bid me bye, and started to hide into the mist. I tried to call your name, but my voice was choked. You disappeared into the woods. And I stood there, all alone.

I still search you there, and the chill air blows my hair. I see, you are smiling in the mist, and calling me by my name. As I approach closer, you leave somewhere, again. The white mist surrounds me, and whispers into my ears, “I love you!”

It continued to echo in the mountains.

                                                                                                    – Forever yours,



[And all along I believed, I would find you

Time has brought your heart to me,

I have loved you for a thousand years

I’ll love..]


[I am taking my blog to the next level with Blogchatter’#MyFriendAlexa 2019]

Read my all posts of this month long event here.]


I love to write letters, as I pour my heart’s deepest thoughts on the postcard, everytime I start writing a letter. One of my favourite letters are the one I wrote to my father. Read the letter here.

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I am Swarnali, The Saffron Storyteller. You can call me an engineer who writes letters or simply a girl who writes. Writing and Music are my ways to escape from this worldly life. I find solace in the voyage from seven notes to the infinity, and resilience in the empire of words. I love to weave stories of motivation, inspiration, love and peace. 'Saffron' is the colour of the quest of life. Hope you like the tales of this bohemian writer.

20 thoughts on “Letters Of Love – Dear Ivan

    1. Awwwww, that’s so great to hear you.. I am overwhelmed, as a newbie blogger and a budding writer, your kind words mean a lot to me. Thank you so much! 🙂


    1. Thank you Sonia! Yeah when I was writing this letter, I didn’t think much, because I was telling these words to someone, in my heart..in some extent, I resemble with Aashi..


    1. Thanks a lot..I am glad to know that the letter has left an impact in your heart..keep visiting, Aashi is writing some more letters to her Ivan..


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